Take a minute to picture a charismatic person in your life. Maybe it’s your former boss who could command a conference room in seconds, or that one friend who drinks in every word you say, making you feel truly seen. You might assume these people are just born captivating, but that’s a myth, Ulrich Jensen, PhD, an associate professor of political science who studies leadership at Arizona State University, tells SELF. “Charisma is a specific set of stylistic expressions you can build into your communication,” Dr. Jensen, who studies the character trait, says. “It’s something we can teach people.”
But charisma is a lot more than just being liked, Dr. Jensen explains—it can actually *move* those around you. Back in 2023, his team analyzed 350 speeches from 50 US governors between February and May 2020 who talked about what people needed to do to stay safe during the pandemic. The more charismatic behaviors they displayed in their talks, the more likely people would heed the advice to stay indoors. “They’re thought of as more trustworthy, more competent,” he adds. (Just for the record, their team defined ‘charismatic behaviors’ as words, phrases, or sentences that projected a strong, central message with moral conviction, and used plenty of metaphors, analogies, and rhetorical questions to make the listener super engaged.)
The best part, Dr. Jensen says, is that you can take those same traits that make politicians influential and map them onto your own life—say, in an attempt to get hired at a job fair or to win over your partner’s family at Thanksgiving dinner. Here’s how to charismatically rock any scary, new social situation with confidence, even if you’re a little shy.
Figure out “your story” for introductions.
Most people tend to define charisma as how a person speaks or positions their body, Dr. Jensen says. While that might be true to some extent, it’s really just “the tip of the iceberg,” he notes: You could have a strong, smooth speech cadence, firm handshake, and excellent posture, but if what you’re saying doesn’t have intrinsic value, you’re going to lose whoever you’re talking to. He uses Barack Obama (widely considered to be one of the more charismatic US presidents) as an example: “If you look at him standing on a stage speaking at a rally, he is very muted in his nonverbal communication
What makes the former president and those like him so compelling, Dr. Jensen says, is that they have a valuable message to share. And just because you’re not trying to win an election, doesn’t mean you don’t have one too. “One of the most important ways you can be more charismatic is to think about how you want to present yourself to others,” Dr. Jensen explains. “Think about something that’s a really interesting fact about yourself, then, think strategically about how you can couch that into a short, one-minute story when you’re introducing yourself.”
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